You might not realize it, but you talk to yourself every day. You might tell yourself how proud you are after a job well done, or you might remind yourself to remain calm in the face of anxiety. Unfortunately, all too many of us engage in negative self talk on a regular basis. If you are talking negatively to yourself, you might be surprised to realize that you are holding yourself back.
1. Negative self talk keeps you from seeking the truth.
Negative self talk is more than just a cover; it is a learned behavior that keeps you from experiencing things you might otherwise look forward to. This behavior also keeps you from seeking the real reasons why you might not have accomplished a goal.
2. Negative self talk puts limits on you.
Are you using words like "always" and "never" in your vocabulary? If so, you might be keeping yourself from achieving your goals. When you tell yourself "I'm never going to get a raise," it becomes extra difficult to schedule a meeting with your boss to discuss a new opportunity.
3. Negative self talk contributes to low self-esteem.
Self-esteem and self talk go hand in hand, creating a vicious cycle. Think about the effect your harsh words might have on a dear friend. It's not much different when you say those things to yourself.
4. Negative self talk puts the focus in the wrong place.
Instead of being able to express gratitude and positivity for those things that are going well in your life, you are constantly talking down to yourself. You are belittling yourself, rather than building yourself up. This negative focus can rob you of meaningful moments of joy and connection.
5. Negative self talk prevents you from asking for help.
Many people who engage in consistent negative self talk will not ask for help, even when they desperately need it. Some may decide that they don't deserve the help, and others think so little of themselves that they falsely believe change isn't possible.
Are you struggling with negative self talk and feel unsure of how to deal with it? Contact me to find out more about how counseling can help.